Child Psychologists Arcata CA

When a Child is Critically Ill

It can be scary and overwhelming to cope with the uncertainty of a very sick child, both for you as the parents and also for your healthy child. However, there are things you can do to help yourself and your healthy child make it through this difficult time.

1. Acknowledge His Feelings

Remember that your healthy child is likely to being going through a jumble of emotions. He may feel helpless, angry and even worried that he could have done something to cause the illness, or guilty that he's well and his ill sibling isn't. You can help your youngster to cope with such reactions simply by listening and paying attention to his needs and concerns. Keep in mind that he may also regress a little at this time, and can benefit from your reassurance that this is a temporary state.

2. Reach out to the experts.

Give your healthy child an appropriate amount of information about the ill sibling, so he'll know what's happening instead of being left to worry without any real facts. Just be sure to consider his age, emotional state, and his personality when deciding how much to share. If you're in doubt about what he can handle, you should reach out to your sick child's doctor and ask him to help you connect with appropriate hospital staff for guidance. Often a child psychologist or social worker can be a valuable resource in helping you to support your well child and determining the right words to explain the illness in a way that he can understand.

3. Bring him to visit the ill sibling.

Many experts believe it can be helpful to offer to bring a healthy child to visit a very ill sibling in the hospital. He may not feel up to this, though, and you should respect his decision if he declines. But if he accepts, be sure to prepare him in advance so he won't be surprised to see his ill sibling with medical equipment and nurses around. Also remember that he may feel better to actually see for himself what's happening rather than hearing about it second hand.

4. Find avenues of support.

Seek out avenues of continuing support for your healthy child. Most hospitals can connect you with support groups geared specifically for children with an ill sibling. This can be a valuable resource, providing an opportunity for him to share his concerns with others and find out that he's not alone.

5. Stick to the routine.

When your family is going through such a difficult situation, it's natural that your everyday schedule will be turne...

Playing hide and seek isn't just fun for young children, it's good for their brains!

That's because interactive play stimulates neurons (brain cells) which fosters the best possible cognitive development.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) play is so important that in 2006 it was recognized by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as a right of every child.

Cognition is the brain's ability to think. Neena Malik, Ph.D., child and family clinical psychologist at the University of Miami, says children between the ages of 1 and 3 develop language skills, social awareness and reasoning abilities. "At a young age, cognitive development is the result of listening, watching, and touching," the expert says.

Though toddlers develop cognitively at a faster pace than infants, brain development is an ongoing process that begins before birth. At five months gestation, 100 billion neurons (brain cells) have already been formed. A newborn's brain is only about one-quarter the size of an adult's. The brain grows to 80 percent of adult size by three years of age and reaches 90 percent of its adult size by the age of five.

Talk
Language is fundamental to most of the rest of cognitive development. When it comes to learning how to communicate, Malik says the importance of social interaction cannot be overstated.

"Social interaction between a child and a caring adult is the only way children get language so it's crucial," says the expert. "Children need language spoken to them constantly in order to understand emotion, appreciate inflections and to get the experience of shared meaning. There's just no other way to do it."

According to Zero to Three, a national non-profit group that supports the health and development of infants and toddlers, the critical period for language-learning begins to close around five years of age and ends around puberty. This is why individuals who learn a new language after puberty almost always speak it with a foreign accent. Most toddlers master 50 words by the end of their second year and can talk in sentences.

Play
Yes, it's important to observe, listen, and interact with your child but special computer programs or games designed to turn your baby into a rocket scientist before she completes kindergarten aren't necessary. Normal, loving, and responsive care giving provides children the best route to learning-through their own exploration.

Here, some ideas to help you make the most of their playtime:

• Read a book. Whenever you read to your child, you are modeling language.
  • Make the experience more interactive by asking simple questions.
  • Have him point out something like the brown dog in the picture.

Sort it Out. Sorting games encourage recognition and reasoning. Sort by color, size, texture, or any other category (for example, a collection of stuffed cats can be arranged by size or color).

Click and Learn. From interactive peek-a-boo to games that fo...

When food replaces personal relationships or when overeating is a response to stress or depression, a potentially life-threatening situation can occur.

"We all engage in over eating at times," says Melissa Katz, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in eating disorders. "In fact, our entire culture engages in over eating. But when over eat becomes our primary coping method, it's a problem."

Out of control eating—consuming large quantities of food in a short period of time (less than 2 hours on average) uncontrollably—is a sign that something is wrong. Binge eaters continue eating well past the point of being full. Unlike bulimics, who eat compulsively before riding their bodies of the food through vomiting, over-exercising or the use of laxatives, binge eaters do not purge following an episode of overeating. As a result, many become overweight, which puts them at risk of heart attack, high blood-pressure and cholesterol, kidney disease, arthritis and bone deterioration, and stroke.

The cause of the problem is not well understood, according to Katz who believes biology, genetics, and learned behavior may all contribute. "In my own practice, the problem often runs in families but we still don't know if there is a genetic predisposition," says the expert. "Research is on going but the brain's role is not clear. Some believe a malfunctioning hypothalamus is the culprit. Others feel the behavior is learned. I personally think hormones are also a factor."

The underlying reasons for BED (binge eating disorder) may be complicated. Eating can be used to cope with daily stresses and other problems. Food can also be used as self-punishment for doing "bad" things. Low self-esteem is often a trigger but food can also be used to keep people away. "When you're a teenager, being overweight can be a painful social stigma. I've seen many cases where children withdraw and food becomes their emotional ally, a friend that a troubled child frequently turns to," explains Katz.

Is My Child a Binge Eater?

Binge eating is fairly common among teenagers and doesn't discriminate. "BED used to be thought of as a middle class problem but no longer. The problem can be found in both sexes and across all demographics," says Katz. If you suspect your child has this eating disorder, here are some signs:

• Meal avoidance
• Secret eating and hidden food
• High-carb foods, number one
• Excessive weight gain  

Katz advises parents to address the pain, rather than the weight gain, by encouraging an open discussion with their child. "Try to find out what's bothering them. Ask about school and their social relationships. Show them you care."

What Parents Can Do

Early intervention is the key to preventing a full-blown eating disorder. Doctors, counselors, and nutrition experts often work together to help children with eating disorders manage their eating, weight, and feelings and teach them the difference between emotional hunger and physic...